


I'll stop the world and melt with you

by Ilovegreen007



Category: Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko (Music Video)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:51:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5874889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilovegreen007/pseuds/Ilovegreen007
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you don't know what came first, being in love or friendship with the two of them it's hard to imagine one existing without the other. A story on Hayley Kyoko's Girls Like Girls chars Sonya and Coley's alternating POV of everything leading to the events in the video and then the aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll stop the world and melt with you

Hayley Kiyoko's Girls like Girls video doesn't have nearly enough fan fiction and those two characters Sonya and Coley gave me more in five minutes than some tv or movie couples had in an entire season or film.

_Sonya_.

She looked so young, angelic with her hair spreadth out across the bed like this almost like a halo- you always thought this whenever you allowed yourself to observe your befriend's sleeping form.

You run your fingers tentatively, lightly, gently across her skin. It feels so soft and warm and smooth, colored peach except for the red marks that will become black and blue. Your fingers halt, afraid to cause further pain. These colors ruin porcelain perfection and you did this to her, well not intentionally, not by your own hand but you might as well have. If you hadn't denied yourself for so long, if you hadn't used every single excuse in the book to deny your feelings for her- Trenton never would've happened ergo no pain for her and consequently you.

Her cheek's swollen and there's a deep laceration just by her cheek bone, you suppose that's where the rocks had dug in.

Your breathing becomes harsh thinking she didn't deserve this, and you didn't-don't deserve her.

For a moment you had allowed yourself a glimpse of happiness with her.

You think back to just after the fight, when things had changed or finally, inevitably fallen into place.

When you continue what should never have been stopped.

When your lips found each other's and fully, truly consumed one other.

At that moment you'd have given anything to stay frozen in time, just you and her together like always, but finally joined.

After you recovered enough from being carried away with the kissing-it took everything in you to pull away- so you could tell her to go on home while you sort some things out. Her eyes turn anxious and you can't help leaning forward to kiss away any apprehension, there's no regret in what had occurred between you two.

It could never feel wrong. It makes you wonder why you fought against it in the first place. She looks distrustfully at your boyfriend-or should you say ex boyfriend- one of the reasons why. You assure her it would all be okay, you give one last lingering hug and a promise to follow as soon as you can.

After you managed to bring him back to consciousness, and calm Trenton long enough to provide answers,( "No I've never cheated on you", at least not in the physical sense, "If I'd wanted to spice things up in our sex life, a threesome wouldn't be it, and he should dare to dream it's never gonna happen." ) you tell him you'll answer more of his questions the next day. You're not sure if he agrees because he had some sense knocked into or was it out of him.

You followed the familiar steps to her home not long after. Strange how everything had changed and yet felt exactly the same. Coley all but pulled the door off its hinges when you knocked, she took one look at your face before pulling you into her arms asking if you were alright. You don't answer, you just snuggle in gratefully, wondering at this girl, she was unreal. She had her face banged up and possibly sustained a concussion yet she was more concerned about you.

She had taken your hand and led you down another familiar path-to almost sacred grounds, her bedroom, making a detour to the closest bathroom to pick up the first aid kit.

She was being brave when you applied the ointment to clean the cut, for every stifled hiss of pain you place a kiss on her face. You think towards the end she was making pained noises on purpose.

She had passed out not too long after. You're almost jealous of how she rests easy in uninhibited slumber. Breathing evenly, gently snoring in her bed mere hours after everything went down.

You're too wired, jumpy. A million thoughts going through your head.

You think about pain. How it's inevitable. How we choose the ones that cause it and in turn, how we cause it to others.

Your parents gave you your first dose. With their neglect, their absence, their playing 'pass the daughter' when they couldn't put up with you anymore. They left you feeling unwanted, and unworthy of love.

They say charity begins at home, so should a lot of other things like Trust, Acceptance, Love.

That first cut was the deepest. It healed somewhat, scarred eventually, but it didn't heal quite right. You were never quite right.

You became immune to feelings, you hardened yourself, learned not to expect, not to care too much, not too hope. You can honestly say that you're used to a life of inevitable pain and disappointment always going hand in hand.

Maybe somehow in some twisted way you craved it, having to fight for attention. You felt like if it wasn't worth the fight then it wasn't worth your time.

Trenton never really put enough effort, he was drunk half the time and too rough, and possessive; it almost seemed like he deliberately marked you to show everyone that he owned you. You have to remind yourself that in the beginning he was funny, cool and unattainable all the things that drew you to him.

It hurts all the more with her. With Coley, because it's always worse when it's unintentional, because she knows nothing, can't help the kind of pain she causes. It's not physical but sometimes it is. With your heart getting squeezed, and your insides twisting into complicated knots whenever she did something so unbridedly sweet, leave secret messages and doodles that never fail to elicit a smile on your notebooks, help you paint your nails, order your favorite coffee drink (even though she hated coffee) just so you could take sips when you finished yours.

There's this pain, something so overwhelming that overrides your senses. It's all longing. Pining. The pain of wanting and never having, although you know she's yours to have, if you wanted.

You never had to fight for her- but she was always worth it. Coley has always somehow belonged to you and you to her.

It's in lingering looks and touches, special smiles. In silly moments in the dark of your room, dancing, giggling on your bed talking about everything and nothing.

It was there even in the beginning when you first moved to the suburban neighborhood and Coley was the serious eleven year old who didn't talk much in school, she only spoke when spoken to. She hung out with a couple of girls, girls who seemed to coax out little doses of something you wanted to uncover. She was a mystery to you, as an expert in desperately putting up careful fronts to seem like you belonged, she was her own person, much more than you. She truly wasn't interested in fitting in. Refusing to go with the flow, she swam against the current.

When everyone made noise she hummed and buzzed, it was a frequency you were weirdly, especially attuned to.

You couldn't help noticing that she had the nicest, prettiest, genuine smile. You remember seeing that smile unabashed and especially bright, painted across her features whenever she biked past your house on her yellow bike daily. You don't admit to yourself that you stand outside waiting for her to bike past.

You don't know when it occurs to you to make an effort. When you started wanting to be the reason behind that smile.

You do know how hard you worked to appear casual when the moment finally came, when you you stopped her one day, asking something inconsequential about the neighborhood.

You asked if there was a park or a place to get away to, to meet other kids anyone their age.

She's quiet at first, shrugging, " I don't really get out much, or meet other kids our age around here, except for you." she says shy, and fidgety "But if you're up for the real deal, I can give you the Coley Steven's private tour, if you'd like." she offers, tentatively playful.

"Yes, I would. Do lead the way then, tour master or Coley Stevens."

"We can stick with just Coley."

"Okay, Just Coley." you say and it's lame but she's amused and you don't have it in yourself to be embarrassed.

She laughs and something falls into place inside you, something warm and oozing and carefree something foreign; like hope.

She's all too happy to show you around, brightens up at the prospect of helping out, and there's that smile. And suddenly she's letting you in, and it's blinding her lightness, it's infectious...that's when you know for sure that you can't help wanting it, her, around you always.

But you can't let yourself want good things.

You find excuses as you do for everything. Its your best defense mechanism against the worse disappointment, and the crippling kind of pain that you know she'll inevitably put you through.

At 11, you're still too young. What do you know about love and wanting to marry your bestfriend or at least having some arrangement that would keep her with you forever.

At 14, you don't want to be different. You act confident and knowing, unaffected, above it all.

You know enough from appreciative looks and attention you've been steadily gaining from boys and girls alike that you are, and not meaning to sound conceited, anything but ordinary, a catch- the best piece of ass in the whole school-Trenton's words.

Popular girls Kara, Ann and Shery sought you out to be one of those picture perfect, can do nothing wrong, reeking of cool girls. It's quite the responsibility living up to it. Its surprisingly simple, just another platform where you get to pretend. But no matter how much you let the world see you coast, give the impression that you never try, that you don't care, the thing is you do care too much about all the wrong things. Like popularity, boyfriends, being included, being seen.

Funny how with everything all these people claiming your attention there's only ever been one person who mattered. Who could make you feel like something more. More than your looks, your grades, your clothes.

Who saw past the smoke and mirrors, the charade of it all. Who soothed your nerves when the pressure of pretending got too much.

She could make you forget, make you let go, distance you from who you were with them, you feel more you when its just you two, she throws a simple joke, a drab commentary on Shery and Kara's too serious argument about the Kardashians reminding you how shallow, and superficial everyone in your whole school, in this whole town was.

Coley was more real, far more genuine than anyone you've ever known. She was steady and unmoving, unchanged and untouched by it all, the only constant in the fast paced, rickety ever changing world.

Everything was effortless when with her, as easy as breathing. With her it was all a matter of just being.

She saw you. Sees you, past everything and she liked you even when you weren't your carefully constructed or put together self.

She actually likes you messy, seen you in various states of unkept; with bedhead, sick with the flu, sticky when you try to make smores and end up stuffing your faces with as many marshmallows as it can allow. When you end up smearing melted pieces of chocolate on her face she scrunches her nose in disgust, complains about the mess, but can't help the dimple appearing, the slight blush when you lean in to lick it off.

She likes it when your inner dork comes out. When you can talk endlessly about D.C comics heroes and their necessary villains. Your favorite being the characters of the suicide squad, hoping to god the movie did them justice.

She likes when you climb in through her window in the middle of the night to snuggle when you're scared of being alone.

She likes when you open up and make serious conversations, talk about anything other than who's dated who, celebrities and such.

She's accepting, welcoming. She's comfort and understanding. You know she'll love you no matter what.

Her patience knew no bounds and yet, you know she grew weary of waiting for you to come in to terms with what you've always known; that you're in love with your best friend.

But thing is you don't want to be gay.

Everything's hard enough as it is. If you let yourself consider it, you wonder how everyone would react. Your parents would think you were just desperate for attention, They'd blame each other, fight, kick you out or all three at once. There would go your popularity, and your temporary place of belonging, of being a somebody.

You don't want to change things, risk your friendship, what indescribable bond you have.

Though it's getting much much harder Coley's looks aren't what you're used too- because lately- there's more to them. You're not sure what's changed. Her eyes are the same as always, absorbing, deep and in awe, always unguarded with you, taking you in like something magical. Eyes that never has the tell tale light of slight envy or leering that always coat everyone else's.

You first see it for what it is when you get drunk at one of those summer parties one night.

This isn't her scene, she only goes to appease you. She hardly ever drank and went all out with other company but that night Coley goes along with the activities, actively participating with drinking games.

The both of you get pleasantly buzzed playing Kings, she had made you her mate and vice versa.

Then came the body shots, the girls lead you to the table first, you pull your shirt over your head ignoring the wolf whistles. Kara leans down to lick your stomach, it tickles and the both of you laugh afterwards. You finally get the attention of one of the senior boys, Trenton, who you'd been wanting to approach you all year. He was your ticket to higher status and now he's here chatting you up, his hand already at your waist, his lips whispering promises against your ear and yet you can't concentrate.

You look up suddenly needing Coley there, but she's nowhere to be found. Till later when you excuse yourself from Trent, citing needing another drink which he offers to get for you; you find yourself making your way anxiously across the house and she suddenly appears, smelling of smoke, eyes dazed. You ask where she'd been. She shakes her head slowly, asks for you to lead her to the washroom.

When you find it, you lock the door behind you. You turn and she's right there; her sudden proximity surprises you, but not too much to make you back away.

Your hand reaches to push her hair back, to find your Coley behind those overblown eyes.

It takes a moment but then her eyes do connect and you see it then, more clearly.

Her look no longer had mere sweetness, there's a slight edge to it. It's more heat and wanting and consuming. It's desperation. She looks at you hungrily, like she can't wait to devour you.

It's the kind of look that warms your entire body, travelling low, striking a chord all the way down to your stomach, then lower.

You've felt lust before. But this time, as always with Coley, there's something stronger.

You almost give in when Coley's loose and languid, willing, and you not too far along behind. Her eyes travel across your features, taking her time. There's confidence brought about by alcohol. She leans against you, backs you up against the door. You should feel trapped but you don't, her presence was never imposing, never threatening, only safe and reassuring. Her body and the wall's the only thing keeping you steady. Her breaths are deep, and shaky, each one hitting your skin as she draws closer and closer. You rest your head back closing your eyes, willing for it to finally happen.

But there's a knock in the door and just like that, the moment's gone.

You push her back then gently lead her to the sink(Coley as always follows without question)to dab at your faces, using water uselessly to cool overheated skin-hers first then yours. You try to erase any and all traces of that moment of weakness, of almosts, of what could've happened. When you're done, you lead her out the door to reality.

You quickly find Trenton then take him aside and kiss him, all but to channel that pent up energy elsewhere, trying in vain to rekindle that feeling.

You pass out in Trenton's arms, stay in his bed, but its Coley who you see, those mere seconds on constant replay in your head.

Out of the many boys you've kissed and some you'd experienced different levels of intimacy with, nothing makes you feel as strongly as that almost kiss. When her eyes looked into yours expectant and knowing- it scared the shit out of you.

You refuse to give in. Giving in is weakness, and weakness doesn't fit into your uncomplicated, jaded life.

You have a boyfriend or whatever Trenton is.

Trenton is everything she's not: loud, abrasive-he's arm candy, someone to distract from your near constant distraction.

He's easy in a what's expected way. He's good for parties, for getting high, for sex. Mostly he's good for moments when you can't handle feeling. He numbs some part of you, the important part-its getting too much with Coley, that you now need a buffer.

You pretend you don't see Coley's stares steadily becoming tinged with something worse than just hurt, there's understanding in it that sometimes feels patronising. You smart when you read judgement. You hate her hold on you, how low, how small she can make you feel.

You both brush it off, continuing on as usual, hanging out whenever you can with Trenton as an addition. It's a whole new skill level of pretending you both achieve.

The reason above all reasons is that mostly the pain of having her- finally, you know it would kill you, because precious things like Coley are rare and hard come by and good things never happen to you, good things never last and bad things, they only get worse.

It never lasted with your once oh so happy family. Your dad finally left, leaving your mother heartbroken, desolate and unable to handle the responsibility of a rebellious teen all on her own.

Basically you leave each other alone-she leaves you to your own devices, pretends she doesn't smell smoke and all other acrid tale telling smells permeating in her home and you pretend some wads of cash, advice of don't get pregnant makes her the equivalent of a good mother.

But whatever. Enough about your mother. You take what you can. You live in the now.

With Coley, you'd rather have her in your life as your best friend, because you know that without a doubt that would last longer. There's less risk in hurting her of her hurting you that way.

And now this has happened and even after everything you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You wonder at how while you're having something close to a meltdown she can still be in her bed sleeping soundly. You try to keep it on a downlow, trying to slow your breathing to match hers, allowing yourself to focus on the calm, content expression on her still beautiful-yet slightly marred-features.

You're trying to come into terms with the incoming rush of all the feelings that she seems to have incited.

You allow yourself time to acknowledge it all. You admit that you're scared because you've always known that she had the power to completely ruin you beyond repair-but this isn't regret because, if anything, you know you love her and you know she'd never hurt you, not willingly. She kept you safe, as she always has. She's the only one who's ever given you something solid and a feel of permanence.

You want her so much and now that she's yours, you don't want to lose her.

Not to Trenton if he comes back with a vengeance. Not to social pressures, not to your mom when she finds out. No, you're most scared that you'll lose her by your own hand. That you'll say or do something, fuck up so badly that Coley won't love you anymore. That would be the lowest of the low, when Coley couldn't find it in herself to love you any longer.

You don't realise you're crying till something wet trails across Coley's cheek. Coley, ever attuned to your moods stirs. To her everlasting credit for someone who wasn't ready to be waken up by someone crying over them, deals pretty well.

"Hey", she murmurs her voice dream soft, eyes blinking blearily still coated in sleep and concern. "Are you okay?"

_Coley_

Sonya starts to nod her head but then stops and shakes it, letting her hair cover her face. Coley's hand twitches, briefly hesitating, she remembers many times before, always having to hold back. Right now she wants nothing more than to to brush Sonya's hair back to uncover her pretty face.

It's almost unfair just how pretty she is. It's understandable, everything when it came to Sonya was effortlessly beautiful. She was perfect even when she was broken and crying.

It always hurt, like some stitches coming undone in Coley's chest, watching her cry.

There were past moments like this where Sonya caved that in some twisted way Coley craved. (When they'd drink during their endless sleepovers and she'd talk about her parent's; how they gave her everything she needed except for their time. When she got sick with the flu and her mom wasn't home to look after her and Coley stayed with her for days and made sure she ate and took her medications.)

Coley's the only one who ever gets to see her like this,-that Sonya chose to be the one to open up to. Selfishly, she feels affirmation when Sonya lets her in, like she is needed. That she's special to her. Its the only time when Sonya ever fully relinquishes control, similarly it's where Coley allows her natural instinct to peek out, to soothe, to worship and where she can treat Sonya like something precious and fragile. It's overwhelming how much she wants to pet at her, claim her, keep her close always.

Her wants and needs never used to match up to her reality, over the years she's gotten good at curbing whatever desires, and impulses she had towards her best friend.

And now Coley can't seem to move, even just to touch her, even now that she's allowed to.

It's always been scary the ginorimity of her love for her. Too much to loose, to expose, yet to big to keep locked away.

How each each interaction between them, all the hugs, and stares, seemed to matter. Now that it's out in the open, how real, how much it all meant-it all means, Coley can't make up her mind how to proceed.

Sonya's always been the naturally impulsive one, the brave one.

Except for earlier today when Coley saw white when Trenton yelled at Sonya, setting something off in her, the trigger; seeing Sonya so helpless, resigned, numb. She was frozen in fear, meek and submissive. It was so jarring, so wrong-the image contrasting with everything she knew and loved about Sonya; her spunk, her confidence, her life.

She remembers Sonya becoming less, pieces of her getting chipped away the more she hung out with him. Watching her eyes lose that sparkle, watching or hearing her echo his opinions, losing her own. She remembers vividly bruises across the expanse of Sonya's skin when she claimed Trenton had just gotten carried away.

Carried away my ass. She would't let him believe he could get away with his treatment of her any longer.

She didn't care that her head was throbbing like it was about to burst, or that her lip was stinging. Or even that he was twice her size. She saw him screaming at her, saw his hands start to move, to grab hold or to shake her, she doesn't know. She's moving, before she knows it she's half tackled him down, feeling adrenaline and something ugly take over. She knew at that moment she loathed him with every fiber of her very being.

For all her mastery of control, of playing it safe, she sure can get carried away. Carried away after she hit him over, and over again, wanting to hurt him so he could never again hurt her-hurt them.

Then after when Sonya pulled her up and he lay forgotten, moaning pathetically on the ground. Coley feels almost guilty enough till Sonya's touching her, her eyes alive and alight once again, full of love.

Pain takes a backseat when Sonya kisses her like she's-like they've both-been waiting for her forever to do so.

Everything about it felt inevitable.

Hours later Coley regains a bit of that feeling, she nods her head as if to gain courage, taking a chance she pushes brown hair and carefully tucks it behind a tiny ear, lets her hand linger, her thumb strokes away tears that gather and pool around her eyes; though she can't seem to look directly into Sonya's eyes, she'd lose what nerve she had left.

She slowly follows a trail, mapping across her face. Coley softly wipes away streaks coating cheeks, then a pretty nose (She feels Sonya's breathing picking up) then she almost hesitates- lips with a extra gentle hand.

The warm breathy sigh that escapes Sonya's lips sounds relieved. Coley's eyes can't help jumping to Sonya's then, and that too quick glance is all she needs to be propelled forward; the distance between them seeming almost too much.

Her lips follow after. The pain is worth it when Coley presses her own softly, purposely against Sonya's. The desperate, shaky gasp that follows after, reaches her somewhere deep in the recesses of her soul, alighting her very being, making her come undone.

She gets carried away, wanting to hear more of the addicting sound coming from Sonya's mouth. She presses harder when she licks into Sonya's lips asking for entrance and later to her wet, warm mouth finding her tongue. Her hands find the bit of heated skin exposed just under her shirt and wanting to feel more, they're soon finding the hem of the loose shirt and lifting it up.

Sonya pulls away abruptly.

"I'm sorry." Coley murmurs, chagrined, shocked at her own actions, quickly turning a shade of red. She's looking anywhere but at her friend when Coley feels a familiar hand-hands that held cigarettes up for her to smoke, passed her beer bottles as they lay drinking, helped fix her braids, apply on make up, played with hers when she got bored-hands that shake now as she lifts Coley's face up to meet her gaze.

"I'm not." Sonya says, allowing a tear stained, yet slightly wicked smile. It's so heartbreaking beautiful and at the same unfairly distracting. Coley feels her chest constrict but Sonya's words calm her nerves down.

"Thank God." Coley blurts out in relief, but then reddens some more. Sonya giggles and leans in to place a much lighter, sweeter kiss. But just like that her eyes grow moist again as her thumb pads over Coley's busted lip.

"I'm sorry." she whispers back, her apology carrying more weight than Coley's. For Trenton. For all the years of denial. Even for everything she couldn't help. Coley's tempted to respond like Sonya did, only to get her to smile-But she sighs.

"Well I'm not saying I wouldn't have wanted to avoid being hurt, but...you're worth it."

The words don't seem to help, if anything Sonya's face grows sadder.

"Hey-Sone, talk to me." Please don't shut me out again, Coley inwardly pleads.

"I don't like hurting you." she breathes out, "I never ever want to." She looks guilty, brows tightly drawn, she gnaws worriedly at her bottom lip.

Coley reaches out to smoothen away her frown. She tries to make things lighthearted,

"Look, I'm alright. It's nothing ..honestly we should be more worried about Trenton."

Its the wrong thing to say, Sonya pulls away from her side and starts to pace around her room. Coley immediately misses her warmth, its the farthest physically and emotionally they've been since Sonya came over.

"Don't you see, I am worried, I worry about everything. What about you, how can you be so damn calm about all this?"

"I'm not. It's just...someone has to be, if not then it's too much to take in." she answers more honestly that she had intended, "I mean it already is, I can hardly believe you kissed me back, that finally we-we're..." Coley flounders for a word apt enough to describe whatever it is that was occurring between them, to describe the unbelievable, almost miraculous turn of events.

"Together?" Sonya finishes, breaking into a smile so big and unhindered, it makes Coley's breath catch. She nods, liking the sound of that. Together.

She slowly approaches her best friend cautiously, hands held up,

Sonya shakes her head not allowing her any closer. She gives a gentle look a- not yet- to appease the slight of rejection Coley feels. Coley takes a seat back in the bed though slightly closer to Sonya.

"Sone, I want you to hear me out even though what I'm about to say will be cheesy as hell." Coley checks with Sonya wanting her confirmation before she proceeds. Sonys nods then smiles that gentle encouraging smile that never fails to make her insides flutter.

Coley wants to say a lot of things that she knows will fall on Sonya's deaf ears- mainly the point she wants to drive is that Sonya deserves to be happy, she just has to allow herself to be.

Coley wants her to know that she deserves only good things-Coley wants to be a main part of that, but she also wants her to remember that she's Coley, she doesn't bolt(she's made if sterner stuff), that she doesn't mind staying and being her support through bad things as well.

She wants to take away any and all doubts she has. If she could she would, but Its easier said than done. Sonya has had years upon years drilling negative thoughts into her own head. Whatever she wanted Sonya to believe she had to show not just through her words, but through actions, through her perseverance. That's one thing she could guarantee, that she'll never tire of being there for her.

Her wants, wishes and promises for her best friend are too heavy, too big, to squeeze into mere sentences-but Coley tries.

"We have a long way to go, its just the first day and look, we're already both such hot messes." Sonya laughs in surprise as Coley had intended the joke for, "Well you're more of a mess than I am-" Coley lightly teases, Sonya gives a playful grumble, "You're also hotter, " to which Sonya merely shakes her head, her eyes boring into Coley's with a look that leaves no doubt to how hot she thought Coley was.

Coley had to scramble to keep on track, that look would be the death of her and Sonya knows it, judging by the slight smirk she lets peek out. Unfair. She's using enough restraint as it is staying on the bed. She moves just the tiny bit closer.

"But I can already see how I want it to go. I want us to date, like you know, in a semi casual romantic setting kind of way." she says casually, trying not to let her sudden anxiety deter her.

"Just date?" Sonya asks tilting one brow, somewhat amused, teasing and serious all at once. Moving closer. Argh. Coley really wants to kiss her.

Coley somehow maintains a stoic face."At first, then I'll ask you to be my girlfriend, eventually-"

"Assuming I'll say yes." Sonya responds, her own deadpan expression in place.

"Believe me, you'll say yes." This pulls a smile out of both girls.

"I'll say yes." she says quietly, inching all the more closer, her face so lovely- this time legitimately serious, confirms, "You can ask me now and you know I would."

Coley wants that more than anything. But they owe it to themselves to take their time.

"One step at a time. I dont want to rush things when we deserve to take our time-" Coley's words are halted as Sonya rushes forward joining her on the bed again, pulling her into a long awaited, felt like it took forever kiss "-or not." Coley says breathlessly when they pull apart, "I know however we proceed, we'll be okay."

"I hope well be more than just okay." Sonya interrupts

"We'll definitely be more than. " Coley reiterates, "As long as we're together, we'll get through whatever needs getting through."

"How can you be so sure?" Sonya asks- almost pleads- looking embarrassed at her vulnerability, her needing so much reassurance. It's new to both of them, the complete role reversal. But Coley wants to measure up to it. She believes in her, in them, she always has.

"I can't, I just...know."

"Know?" Sonya prompts.

"That what we have...it's real. It's untouchable. We were-are- inevitable." Coley's unprepared for the onslaught of more Sonya kisses.

Both their breathing's more than a little ragged when they pull apart.

"You're right." Sonya pauses when she regains her breath, "that was so damn cheesy."

The two not quite just best friends slash lovers break into laughter before Sonya presses Coley down into the bed and continues kissing her, this time ridding them both of their pesky shirts, trailing kisses along her jawline, both enjoying how natural this all felt, like they had just achieved another way to exist with each other.

Coley could never help drowning in Sonya's eyes whenever they sparkled as they did now-she thinks she's never seen them shine as brightly before.

She thinks she'll never get used to this, then afterward thinks, she'll have the chance to get used to this.

Coley's filled to the brim with such happiness. She says as much aloud to Sonya much, much later when they're still half-naked and wanting but still content in not moving further, blissfully tired with all the emotions, and all that went down.

They lay face to face.

"I'm glad I can make you this happy." Coley murmurs against Sonya's palm tucked loosely under her cheek.

"You always make me happy." Sonya says, her fingers trailing across her face, her eyes warm and relaxed.

"Sounds like you have no choice but to keep me." comes Coley's cheeky reply.

"Uh-huh." Sonya half speak half yawns,

Coley yawns in return, "Lets stay together for a long time then."

"How's forever?" Sonya says questioning.

_Sonya_

Forever. Its such a heavy word to let go off when you yourself didn't know what could happen.

You almost want to take it back-the Sonya before this would've-but after this night it seemed pointless denying yourself what you really want to say and do.

She smiles at you sleepy soft.

In that moment you know it wouldn't matter, that you needn't worry. There's something about her eyes, about her smile. About knowing what was real and what was inevitable. You don't even need to hear her echo it back.

"I'll be here." she says instead.

"Like always." You murmur, drawing her in impossibly closer, allowing sleep to claim you both.

It's a promise, like always, that she will keep. There's no pain, only hope waiting for when you wake.


End file.
